Me

      Grand Canyon Arizona 2023

I'm a theoretical physicist. I can explain the universe to you, but I can't explain myself.

Unlikely Buddha




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chemo

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  The chemo cocktail churns, a metallic serpent coiling in my gut, its venom rising, a bitter tide. The sterile air, a canvas for the symphony of beeps, a haunting counterpoint to the hollowness inside. My reflection mocks from the steel embrace of the chair, a gaunt caricature, eyes hollowed, skin the hue of despair. Each breath a labored rasp, a dry leaf skittering on stone, as the serpent writhes, promising oblivion's unknown. Sleep, a fragile escape, crumbles into a twisted dream. A figure cloaked in midnight strides across the barren plains, his scythe a crescent moon, casting an inky sheen on the cracked and thirsty earth, mirroring my ravaged veins. The Grim Reaper, eyes smoldering embers in the gloom, a silent judge, his gaze a pronouncement of impending doom. His skeletal hand reaches, cold and sure, to claim my soul, but a spark of defiance flares, a flicker to regain control. I lunge, a frail wisp against the night's cold embrace, but the figure fades, leaving on...
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My wife was only 32 when she died of metastatic breast cancer

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It was only 5 years after we found a lump in her breast.  She was a laboratory technologist in the hospital lab at the time and our medical insurance was good.  To give her the best chance, they gave her both chemotherapy and radiation to the area where the tumor had been found after surgery.  Our son was 1 1/2 years old at the time of the diagnosis and spent a lot of time at his grandmother's house during her treatments.  I went with her each time she received chemo and went through her nausea and vomiting with her after each course. In time they tattooed a tiny dot on her breast in order to guide the radiation to the right area and completed the radiation treatments.  She began recovering and within months had returned to her job at the lab. We both raised our son and went about our lives, hopeful. They did tests for tumor markers monthly without apparent return of the cancer.  One day, 5 years from the beginning she felt bad and was hospitalized. The tum...
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Magic Carpet Ride

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